Glama, Act II, Scene 8

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A Full Length Musical Comedy by William Armstrong

Scene Eight
Hotel poolside lounge,
Friday night.
Tony enters from the direction of the front desk. Kelli enters from the direction of her room. Kelli approaches Tony and speaks quietly to him.
KELLI
Tony. Can you recommend a nice place where a girl can get a drink or two?
TONY
Somewhere other than the hotel?
KELLI
Somewhere more anonymous and, hopefully, someplace where the average age isn't sixty-five.
TONY
I can think of several good places, but most of them are across town.
Tony pauses for a second. He thinks as he gives Kelli a thorough, but dignified, ogle.
TONY (continues)
Would you like to come over to my apartment? It's just down the street. It'll save you a taxi fare, and the price is right. Besides, you don't want to go out partying all by yourself.
KELLI
Don't you have to work?
TONY
I'll take a sick day. After all, my job is to see that everyone gets what they want. Let me go arrange it, and I'll meet you out behind the pool.
KELLI
Okay.
Kelli exits behind the pool area. Tony exits toward the front desk. Janet enters and is about to sit at a table when Sam enters and goes to her.
JANET
Sam, how was your day playing trains?
SAM
It was fantastic. They even let me ride in the cab when they moved the locomotives from one siding to another. How was your day?
JANET
Great. I bought a new dress. I'm ready to paint the town red.
SAM
Aw, gee, I'm awfully tired. Can't we just sit here and relax tonight?
JANET
You're on the wrong track, Mr. Engineer. This is our last night in the city, and I intend to do it up right. Come on. Just throw on your sport coat and sweep me off my feet.
SAM
Can I sit here a few minutes? Maybe we could have dinner here in the hotel.
JANET
No. Get off of your bum. We are going to dance the night away.
Music comes up for "City/Sitter Duet".
JANET (continues)
The city won't wait. There's music in the air.
Get out of the chair there. Get off of your derr'yere.
Come on and live it up with me!
SAM
Why do they call it a city if nobody ever sits down?
Why do they call it a city with ev'ryone running around?
There are cars: honk, honk! Hitting cars: bonk, bonk!
And the skyline's always hazy.
All the people rushed; all the people crushed.
It's enough to drive you crazy.
JANET
Life is for living. I want to join the parade!
Life's not forgiving to people who rest in the shade.
I wanna smell a rose, tap my toes, let champagne bubbles tickle my nose
I wanna blow my diet. Start a riot. If it's risky, honey, I wanna try it!
Life is for living. Come on and live it up with me!
SAM
Why do they call it vacation if nobody vacates the town?
Why do they call it vacation with all of these people around?
There are crowds (oh, no!) stepping on your toe.
It's enough to drive you crazy.
I wanna sit right here sucking down a beer
And for that, I know, I'm lazy.
JANET
Life is for action. We only breathe for a while.
T'get satisfaction be someone who lives life with style.
Ya gotta taste the wine, cross the line,
Fondle a breast, but make sure that it's mine
I wanna hit a disco, roll in Crisco,
See how many minutes we can make a kiss go.
Life is for living. C'mon and live it up with me!
JANET
Life is for living. Come on and live it up with me!
As a man, it's your duty, so get off your booty.
My bug wants to jitter, so get off your sitter.
SAM
Dancing shoes?
Janet holds up Sam's shoes.
JANET
Brought 'em, so get off your bottom.
SAM
If I heard a sax I'd get off of my backside.
Saxophone music plays as Janet dances seductively to entice Sam out of the chair. Sam gets up.
SAM (continues)
Let's dance all night in the city / Where nobody ever sits down.
My dear, you look awf'ly pretty / Let's go for a night on the town.
We can dance: cha cha! / And romance: aha!
All my moves will drive you crazy.
We'll have fun: ha, ha! / Till we're done: uh huh!
Then to bed: we'll whoopsidaisy.
SAM and JANET
Let's dance all night in the city
Come on and live it up with me!
SAM
Let me go up and change. If we're going to be Fred and Ginger out on the dance floor, I need to look more like Fred Astaire than Fred Flintstone.
Sam sweeps Janet into his arms, and dances off stage toward their room. Jeff enters from the front desk and checks his wristwatch. Don and Susan enter from the direction of their room. They are concerned about something.
DON
Jeff, do you know where Kelli is? She's not in her room, and we can't find her anywhere in the hotel.
JEFF
I thought she planned to go to Westwood with the whole group later tonight. Do you think something could have happened to her?
SUSAN
She always wants to go out on her own. Where could she go around here?
DON
Jeff, will you help us find her? She may be in trouble. I hate to say this, but she has a problem. Our daughter likes to drink, you know, alcohol. We have to keep booze away from her because she's always getting into it.
JEFF
All right. Susan, stay by the phone in case she calls or in case I need to call you. Don, keep looking here in the hotel. I'll see if she took a cab anywhere. Then I'll get some people checking the neighborhood. We'll find her.
DON and SUSAN
Thank you.
Don and Susan talk in a quiet huddle. Then Susan goes back up to the room. Don exits a different direction. Jeff starts to exit toward the front desk just as the Desk Clerk enters. Jeff stops the Desk Clerk.
JEFF
Have you seen Kelli Klee? She's that young, pretty girl from the American tour.
DESK CLERK
Yes, she was talking to Tony maybe a half an hour ago.
JEFF
Did she leave the hotel?
DESK CLERK
I think so.
JEFF
Where's Tony?
DESK CLERK
He said he was feeling sick. He went home about the same time he talked to the girl.
JEFF
Can you give me his phone number and address? I think Kelli may be in trouble.
Clerk exits with Jeff to supply the information.
Anita enters from the pool area. She is talking on her cell phone.
ANITA
[talking on the cell phone] The man I love asked me to marry him, and I threw the ring in his face. I've got to talk to him, face-to-face, and find out what this is all about.... [listens] I owe it to him. No. No, I owe it to me. I just need to find out. Good-bye, Carmen.
Anita ends the call, puts the phone away. The Desk Clerk enters (busy with some preoccupation). Anita walks up to the Desk Clerk.
ANITA (continues)
Excuse me, have you seen Jeff Carson of Glama Tours?
DESK CLERK
I have. May I take a message for him?
ANITA
Isn't he here at the hotel?
DESK CLERK
He had some urgent business. I think he'll be back soon if you'd like to wait.
ANITA
Well, I really need to talk to him. Can you tell me where he went?
DESK CLERK
I'm not sure exactly. He was very interested in finding our bellman, because he thought Tony might have that pretty, young lady he wanted. I suspect he'll take her straight up to the room, especially if she's, um, not feeling well.
ANITA
I'll wait!
Anita crosses her arms with a harrumph and sits roughly in a nearby chair. Zita and Ruth enter together from their rooms.
ZITA
Tonight we're going to see Wedgewood.
RUTH
Wedgewood? That's china.
ZITA
No, I'm not talking about China. I'm talking about Wedgewood, California.
RUTH
Zita, honey, the place is called Westwood. You're beginning to sound like Angel. The way he mixes up all his words. Instead of Hollywood Bowl, he says Ballywood Hole. Instead of Burbank, he says Barbunk. Long Beach is Bong Leach.
ZITA
Personally, I liked the "La Brea Par Tits".
RUTH
[laughs] And I couldn't figure out what he was talking about when he called his sore toe his "torso". But my favorite was when he called "popcorn", "cop porn".
ZITA
Well, I like Angel. If he misses a phrase now and then, I think it's charming. Do you think Westwood will be charming?
RUTH
Well, I'm sure that if Jeff picked it out, it'll be a very pleasant spot for the last night of our tour. I hear it's a lively place: UCLA.
ZITA
That's what we've been doing all week.
Sam and Janet enter and join the ladies at the side of the stage.
ZITA (continues)
Oooooo, who is this handsome fellow?
SAM
I'm the dance partner Janet keeps in her luggage until Friday night.
RUTH
He's even better looking than that husband of yours.
JANET
I think I'll keep both of them.
Jeff enters from the back of the pool area, trying to slip in unnoticed. He is guiding a drunken Kelli. She doesn't seem to be happy about where she is going. She resists.
JEFF
Come on, Kelli. We're almost home. Let's try to get you to your room without anyone noticing.
KELLI
I want to go back to Tony's. We were just having a few laughs. I kept my part of the deal. I wasn't drinking in your precious hotel.
Marcy and a uniformed police officer enter from the other side of the stage.
MARCY
There he is, Officer! He's the sleaze-bag drug lord, and now he's compromising that sweet, young girl for pleasure and profit. I only hope we're not too late to save her from his sordid plans.
Marcy scrambles toward Jeff and Kelli with the police officer in tow.
JEFF
I'll be with you in a minute, Marcy. Right now, I've got to get Kelli upstairs and into bed.
MARCY
[horrified gasp] You are not taking that girl to your bed.
JEFF
No, I'm not taking her to my bed. What's going on here?
MARCY
You are under arrest, Mister. Officer, cuff him and read him his rights.
Jeff tries to protest. Kelli squirms free only to be captured by Marcy. Anita stands and witnesses the citizen's arrest. She runs off crying as Marcy and the police officer take Jeff and Kelli away. Sam, Janet, Zita, Ruth, Dawn, and Kelli's parents straggle after them as they go. Lights fade out. Music up and out.


Continue to Act II, Scene 9

Copyright © 2003 William Armstrong



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