Logo art . Plays One Act Plays and Musicals
by William Armstrong
20 Jun 2008
and Theatrical Works Phone: 661-272-9393
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Comedies that Actually Leave You Laughing

If your theatre group is looking for funny shows with clean language, consider these plays by William Armstrong. To read the script of a play, click on its title.

Audit Oddities Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Audit Oddities 3W,4M 30 min. G $30/perf
One-act musical comedy.     Minor staging.
Ideal Audience: Baby boomer office workers
Musical comedy version of a financial audit. Louise in an auditor saddled with an inept assistant, a lecherous client, and possible fraud. Parodies of familiar songs make this an easily staged musical.
Busting Lucifer Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Busting Lucifer 3W,3M 20 min. PG (sexual innuendo) $25/perf
One-act comedy.     Minor to theatrical staging.
Ideal Audience: Teens and above.
Off-beat comedy about hope in Hell. Filker, a lost soul working in Lucifer Research Labs, invents a way for Satan to eavesdrop on people's prayers. But Filker has another plan for his invention.
Celeb Schlepping at JFK Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Celeb Schlepping at JFK 2M, 2 either, 3 extras 7 min. G $10/perf
Comedy sketch.     Can be done with no staging.
Ideal Audience: Drunks of all ages
Sherlock Holmes and King Tut (the original Egyptian boy king, not Steve Martin) schlep through the security line at JFK airport. New York locals interact with the two famous personalities in this absurd skit.
Comedy Bytes Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Comedy Bytes Various up to 3 hrs. Various $75/perf
Group of one-act plays and skits.     Various staging requirements.
Ideal Audience: Configurable
Comedy Bytes is really a bundle of other shows on this site when you want to perform three or more of the one-act plays and sketches in one show. Choose any or all of the nine shows available and create your own one-act festival.
Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over? Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over? 2W, 2M (flexible) 7 min. PG (drug ref; "crap") $10/perf
Scripted improv skit.     Almost no staging.
Ideal Audience: Drivers, but not police or lawyers
A driver is stopped by a police officer and tries several approaches to get out of the traffic ticket.
Dr. Goldenball Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Dr. Goldenball with Love Never Dies Twice 3W, 2M, 2 either 13 min. PG (sexual innuendo) $15/perf
Comedy sketch.     Minimal staging.
Ideal Audience: Teens and above.
Secret agent James Braun must battle a super villain, budget cutbacks, and the romantic advances of Miss Manypunny in this spy movie parody.
Fair Retail Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Fair Retail 4W,6M, 5 either 35 min. G $30/perf
One-act comedy.     Minor to theatrical staging.
Ideal Audience: Families, all ages.
Comic fairy tale about a shopkeeper who sets out to win the hand of the princess by defeating a fearsome ogre. Our hero soon discovers that he must also overcome an evil witch and a royal rival.
Glama Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Glama 13W,7M, 5-15 either 120 min. G Varies*
Full-length musical comedy.     Full theatrical staging.
Ideal Audience: All ages.
Full-length musical comedy. Jeff guides tourists around Los Angeles. He loves Anita; she loves him; but will he pop the question? His life is complicated by a misguided drug enforcement officer.
Lard Wars Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Lard Wars 1W,5M, 4 either 15 min. G $15/perf
Comedy sketch.     Minimal staging.
Ideal Audience: Star Wars fans.
Parody of the first Star Wars movie in which the Empire is trying to put the rebels on a diet. It ends in a cliffhanger and includes previews of the next episode.
Losing Patients Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Losing Patients 1W,1M 5 min. G $10/perf
Comedy skit.     No staging.
Ideal Audience: Hypochondriacs
Comedy sketch about a long-suffering nurse who interviews a bizarre patient about his medical history.
Still in Business Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Still in Business through No Fault of Our Own 5W,5M 25 min. PG (sexual innuendo) $20/perf
One-act comedy.     Minor staging.
Ideal Audience: White collar workers.
Comedy about office workers dealing with a big, bureaucratic organization. One man decides to get a "real job" at another company.
Well, I'll Be Title Cast Length Rating Fee*
Well, I'll Be 4W 15 min. G $15/perf
One-act drama.     Minimal to theatrical staging.
Ideal Audience: Families. All ages.
Family drama. A little girl's grandmother has the magical power to show the girl what it might be like to have various occupations.
* Royalty fees (in US dollars) are per performance. Fees do not include rights to perform music (as in Audit Oddities) where the copyright holder is not the playwright. You must pay music royalties separately (e.g., through ASCAP or BMI). Glama fees depend on theater size, etc. Please contact us for a price quotation.


All of the plays on this Web site are protected by copyright law and may not be performed without written permission.


The plays, as presented on this Web site, are for reading on line, so that you can decide if you'd like to perform them. You may obtain a copy of a play if:

  1. You plan to evaluate it for possible performance, or
  2. You plan to perform it.

E-mail us () with the name of the play(s) you are considering. Please include the name of the play in the subject line of your e-mail. We will e-mail you a complete copy of the play, the author's production notes, and licensing information. All documents are in Microsoft Word format unless you request plain text or Adobe PDF.

While you are evaluating the play(s), but not more than 60 days, you may print enough copies of the play(s) to facilitate your evaluation. If you decide to perform the play(s), you may print enough copies for the cast and crew. After your evaluation and/or performances, you must destroy all printed and electronic copies of the play(s).


Obtaining a copy of a play does not include a license or permission to perform any of the plays. To perform any of the plays you must apply for rights to perform the play(s) and pay a royalty. To apply for a performance license please complete a license agreement form (part of our e-mail to you) and mail it to us with your payment.

All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio, broadcasting and television are strictly reserved. In its present form the plays are solely for the use of the reading public. The stage performance rights to these plays are controlled exclusively by William Armstrong, and royalty arrangements and licenses must be secured well in advance of presentation.

A royalty fee per performance (as indicated in the chart above) is charged for each of the plays. Royalties are payable one week before the opening performance of the play. Royalty of the required amount must be paid whether the play is presented for charity or gain and whether admission is charged or not. Plays that use music require separate payment(s) to the music copyright holder(s).

All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2003-2008 William Armstrong
39864 Golfers Drive, Palmdale, CA 93551 USA

The address of this site is http://www.williamarmstrong.com/plays/index.html.
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